By Ralph R. Roberts, RISMedia Guest Columnist
In a majority of foreclosures, one of the homeowners hides it from the spouse. Usually, the partner keeping the secret is the person responsible for paying the bills and is (or feels) responsible for causing the problem and fixing it. This partner may feel like a failure for not properly managing the finances. Attempting to sweep the foreclosure under the rug can compound the problem in any or all of the following ways :
- It makes you more susceptible to becoming a victim of foreclosure rescue scams. One of the con artist's most powerful strategies is divide and conquer. They will offer ways to avoid foreclosure so your partner "never has to know about it." They are afraid that the more people "know about it," the more likely they will get caught.
- Removes one of your pillars of support. As a couple, you have a much better chance of improving the outcome than by acting alone. Your partner may have some excellent ideas and resources to help save your home.
- Wastes time. The longer you try to keep the secret without taking positive steps to resolve the problem with your lender, the less time you have to save your home, sell it, or pursue other options.
- Leads to distrust with your partner. Remember, your partner is going to eventually find out about the foreclosure. It's always better if your partner finds out earlier from you rather than later from a stranger... like when the sheriff shows up to evict you and your family from your home or the person who purchased the home at auction shows up at the front door.
Communication is key
Look at the foreclosure as an opportunity to become open and honest and build intimacy. Whether you're currently facing foreclosure or have just missed one or two mortgage payments, tell your partner immediately. Losing your home in a vain attempt to avoid an uncomfortable discussion with your partner is the wrong approach.
